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        FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS $75+

        The Important Stuff: This formula has a strong hold that will last all day long. If your hair gets messed up throughout the day, just add a little water to reactivate the hold. It's water soluble and easily washes out in the shower. All of our pomade scents are inspired by true stories.

        The Story: Every unit has one: the Soldier that falls in love with the first female that isn't creeped out by them. Being the sophisticated classy man that he is, Private James frequented the local gentleman's club. He was a regular; had the lunch punch card and everything. But it wasn't just the killer $5 lunch special that had our buddy James going back, it was her- Miss Fantasy. After blowing his entire re-up bonus, she finally agreed to go to Denny's with him. One thing led to another, and before he knew it, Private James was three babies deep with a woman who thought chocolate milk came from brown cows. Of course it ended in divorce! It always does. In Private James' defense, she did have some nice tiddies.

        Scent Profile: Two words: dirty vanilla. I Married A Stripper offers top notes of what-the-fuck-was-I-thinking that immediately arouse the olfaction. Middle notes of divorce and child support blend beautifully with the base of social media venting. A whiff of this is bound to remind you of that one time you almost pulled a Private James. Civilian Translation: A soft unisex fragrance of vanilla and some floral type of shit. Will likely remind you of a lap dance. Not too shabby!

        Barney-Style Directions:
        1. Use your right index finger to scoop up fingertip amount of pomade.
        2. Wipe the pomade from your finger onto your left palm.
        3. Work the pomade between your palms.
        4. Apply pomade to the hair on your head.
        5. Comb through and style as desired or authorized.
        6. Don't be a commie.

        For a stronger hold with less shine, apply to dry hair. For a bit more shine, apply to damp hair. We personally recommend applying pomade to lightly damp hair. The more you use the stronger the hold!

        Ingredients: Water, Ceteareth-25, PVP, Propylene Glycol, PEG-7 Glycerol Cocoate, Polysorbate-20, Fragrance, PEG-40 Hydrogenated Castor Oil, Vegetable Glycerine, DMDM Hydantoin

        Customer Reviews

        Based on 6 reviews Write a review

        Customer Reviews

        Based on 7 reviews
        71%
        (5)
        14%
        (1)
        14%
        (1)
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        J
        Joe W.
        Sexy AF

        I love it, the wife loves it. It smells so good she even puts some in her hair. Love the “I married a stripper” scent.

        A
        Anonymous
        Garett

        Can't turn a ho into a housewife but at least you can smell like you did. This stuff works magic on your hair. If you wear it and go to a strip club its like having hundred dollar bills hanging off your head. The girls flock to you and want you to take them home without having to pay for it. The look and hold are great too.

        A
        Anonymous
        Jeff

        As usually the hold is great and the shine is amazing. It does the job like all the other pomades these guys offer. But, I personally dislike the scent of this one. My first purchase was Cocaine and Hookers. I fell in love with the fragrance. I was hoping I married a stripper would smell just as good or better. I was mistaken. Try it for yourself if you want. Just thought I’d give my opinion. Personally I don’t smell vanilla. It smells like a descent chemical more then vanilla and flowers.

        A
        Anonymous
        Cody Thompson

        Ordered off Amazon prime... came in the mail.... was about to pit this sexy bad boi on my majestic locks of hair....wife stops me and says "don't put it in your hair" apparently shes salty as fuck because she wants to rub her hands through my hair which she does sometimes...............paid to use the product ...I get product... wife then told me she dosent like me using stuff in my hair at all...... W..T..F

        A
        Anonymous
        Howard The Duck

        I fell into the sales pitch of this product being Better than Suavecito Pomade, I having THICC mexican hair, the type that goes to a fro in the mornings was suprised to see anybody claim a throne so high in the pomade industry. After full use of the can, I can finally say it did not meet my expectations but luckily theres were pros to balance it out. The smell did not last, as I scooped lower into the can, the fragrance faded and to begin I did not get the Vanilla smell I expected like in Layrite pomade. The hold was good, better than that Royal Crown Hair Dress & American Pomade at the PX, but not Suavecito Pomade stong hold. This product is recommended in my opinion to those that have short or thin hair, like your 1sgt with his high n tight. What I did enjoy was that this product was for the not really trying to do my hair type of day but you still wanted a bit of style. The can is great with its label it was fun to read. The sales pitch is also great! Its not easy for new sellers in the pomade industry but calling out a top brand sure is a heck of a way to get new recruits lol At the end I felt this was more of a Pomade Gel, Hopefully you find this review of a help. Great customer Service, Funny ass brand & Not afraid of commies