0 Cart
Added to Cart
      You have items in your cart
      You have 1 item in your cart

        Believe it or not, there actually is such a thing as a stupid question. Below, we do our best to answer both stupid and legitimate questions…

        What is your Return Policy?
        We don’t have one. If the cost of a jar of pomade breaks your bank, then you have bigger issues to focus on. You shouldn’t have financed that V6 muscle car at 24% interest. Dipshit.

        Do I have to have a combover to use your product?
        No, but you’d be a lot cooler if you did…

        Does ‘Cocaine & Hookers’ contain real cocaine?
        Your mom should have swallowed you.

        Are the stories actually real?
        Yes; however, names and some details have been changed to protect the service members’ identities. When you're living life at 1 gram per nostril, there's no need to embellish. 

        How much does shipping cost and how long does it take?
        Shipping is free on orders over $50. For orders $49 and under, shipping usually ranges between $4-$6. Most orders leave our facility within 48 hours and typically take 3-4 business days to arrive once shipped. You will be emailed tracking information.

        Do you ship to APO/FPO addresses? 
        Absolutely! We ship free to all APO/FPO, too! Just keep in mind that your order will take longer to arrive.

        I just want to say, taxation is not theft, it’s the price we pay to live in a civilized society!

        Ok, retard.

        I own a barbershop/store. Can I get wholesale pricing?

        Yes, contact us for details. 

        How do I explain buying ‘Cocaine & Hookers’ to my wife? 
        If you have to explain anything, you don’t have a wife- you are the wife! Ask your husband for your balls back, pussy.

        Your language offends me. Can you tone it down a bit?
        Go fuck yourself.

        Can I use your products on my pubies?
        Beard oil- yes. Pomade- you can, but you probably shouldn’t.

        I read the instructions on the pomade jar. What if I’m left-handed?
        You mean wrong-handed? You’re probably a communist.

        If you have a question that we haven’t addressed here, feel free to contact us!