Believe it or not, there actually is such a thing as a stupid question. Below, we do our best to answer both stupid and legitimate questions…
What is your Return Policy?
We don’t have one. If the cost of a jar of pomade breaks your bank, then you have bigger issues to focus on. You shouldn’t have financed that V6 muscle car at 24% interest. Dipshit.
Do I have to have a combover to use your product?
No, but you’d be a lot cooler if you did…
Does ‘Cocaine & Hookers’ contain real cocaine?
Your mom should have swallowed you.
Are the stories actually real?
Yes; however, names and some details have been changed to protect the service members’ identities. When you're living life at 1 gram per nostril, there's no need to embellish.
How much does shipping cost and how long does it take?
Shipping is free on orders over $50. For orders $49 and under, shipping usually ranges between $4-$6. Most orders leave our facility within 48 hours and typically take 3-4 business days to arrive once shipped. You will be emailed tracking information.
Do you ship to APO/FPO addresses?
Absolutely! We ship free to all APO/FPO, too! Just keep in mind that your order will take longer to arrive.
I own a barbershop/store. Can I get wholesale pricing?
Yes, contact us for details.
How do I explain buying ‘Cocaine & Hookers’ to my wife?
If you have to explain anything, you don’t have a wife- you are the wife! Ask your husband for your balls back, pussy.
Your language offends me. Can you tone it down a bit?
Go fuck yourself.
Can I use your products on my pubies?
Beard oil- yes. Pomade- you can, but you probably shouldn’t.
I read the instructions on the pomade jar. What if I’m left-handed?
You mean wrong-handed? You’re probably a communist.
If you have a question that we haven’t addressed here, feel free to contact us!