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        What did you do to end up on the naughty list?

        Below is collection of stories that landed our boys on the Naughty List:

        “I got a DUII in a GSA when I rear-ended the deputy’s daughter.”

        “I went hunting this year and finally was able to shoot one. I was so overwhelmed with excitement that I decided to mount that deer. And I don’t mean the taxidermy way. It wasn’t until I flipped it over to do doggie style that I realized I shot Rudolph. Mrs. Claus is going to be so mad.”

        “I wanted to go to the strip club but was stuck at home with my kids. As soon as they fell asleep I WIFI called myself from the iPad and put in a Bluetooth earpiece. I went to the tiddy bar a block away and played slots for an hour.”

        “I lied about my knee surgery when I first enlisted. After I deployed to Iraq I blamed my knee problems on the military and now have a badass disability rating!”

        “I used to go to hotels to eat free breakfast. I would park on the side of the building and wait for someone to walk out. On my way to the food area I would steal a newspaper sitting that was sitting in front of someone’s room. I ate my free breakfast peacefully while I read the paper. Am I too poor to pay for breakfast? No, I’m just a piece of shit sometimes.”

        “I never pay for snacks at movie theaters. On my way in the theater I always snag me a large bucket of popcorn out the trash and I make a hole in the bottom of the bucket. When I go to get a refill the staff member notices the hole and ALWAYS gets me a new bucket. Fuck Regal Cinemas!”

        ”I use my Post 9/11 GI Bill the right way! I picked a college in San Francisco, which is the highest BAH in the country (over $4,000). I go to one class at the beginning of the term and then use the excuse of ‘military training’ to get out of ever having to show up again. I do everything online and get the full BAH rate.”

        Scent Profile: Pure Christmas boner.

        Barney-Style Directions:
        1. Use your right index finger to scoop up fingertip amount of pomade.
        2. Wipe the pomade from your finger onto your left palm.
        3. Work the pomade between your palms.
        4. Apply pomade to the hair on your head.
        5. Comb through and style as desired or authorized.
        6. Don’t be a commie.
        7. Post your hairdo on Instagram and tag us (@CombatCombover).

        For a stronger hold with less shine, apply to dry hair. For a bit more shine, apply to damp hair. We personally recommend applying pomade to lightly damp hair. The more you use the stronger the hold!

        Ingredients: Water, Ceteareth-25, PVP, Propylene Glycol, PEG-7 Glycerol Cocoate, Polysorbate-20, Fragrance, Argan Oil, PEG-40 Hydrogenated Castor Oil, Vegetable Glycerine, DMDM Hydantoin

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